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110.
Ah, Linux,
The April fool's joke of the computing world and an embarrassment to the open-source philosophy. The brat that hasn't learned to shut the fuck up and do something more productive to its cause. The hacking tool used by script kiddies who think they are "l337 haxors" after typing 10 lines of code in Pearl. A prime example of how group-think leads to less productive activity. Communism in electronic form. Now Im sure we all have by now heard the same old cliches about old Tux being the best thing since sliced bread, but eventually, they just beg to be examined a little more, as follows.

1) Linux is free.

And I'm the king of Peru. If it really is free, then the Linux sites would have no pop-up windows and ads asking for donations. Getting Luddix may be "free", but having to end up buying up to $200 worth of new hardware just to run a computer at 1/20 the speed of Windows 95 throws the whole concept of free out the door.

Also the "Free as in Beer" line is pure bullshit, because the can of Budweiser I got at the store cost me $1.39, and it costs money to get whole-grain wheat flour to create home-brewed alcohol.
And no, dumb-ass, speech is not free either. If you don't believe me, try going up to a cop and string some four-letter words in his face, nd see if he will respect your freedom of speech.


2) Linux is fast and does not contain bloat-ware like Micro$hit Windoze.

If you think Microsoft Windows is bloat-ware, you haven't tried Red Hat, ELX, or SusE, because THOSE define bloat-ware. Up to 7 CDs full of useless junk right there. And Luddix is fast alright, compared to the time it takes for Neptune to circle around the Sun. And you won't believe how much RAM a typical Lunix distribution gobbles up. Better make sure you have an extra 512MB stick of RAM handy. (Note: If you want to see a fast operating system that's not Linux, check out BeOS at www.bebits.com. Now THAT, my friend, is fast!)


3) Linux gives you choices.

That would have been fine if there were 4 distributions. Hell, that would have been okay if there were 9 distros. But 300 distros is fucking insane, especially if 293 of them suck shit through a straw.

4) with Linux, you have a wide variety of GUIs and applications.

Yeah, too bad they are all poorly-designed, and look like ripoffs of anything that Microsoft or Apple makes. Not to mention, having to type 30 fucking lines of code just to get the program to open is pure joy.


5) 2005/2004/2000/1999/1998: The Year of the Linux Desktop.

The year came and went, Windows and MacOS logos are still flashing on the screens of those who are not blessed with the faggotry of geekism. Where oh where did Tux go? The kernel that every computer "expert" hyped would be the killer of Micro$oft? Surely Walmart can't hold up the weight of the Linux community with its $300 Linspire boxes (which end up being a dirt cheap way of installing Windows on a new computer) Looks like the Lin-zealots lied to us again, which is typical of those bastards. And it's also hard to believe that it's been over 10 years, and the fucking penguins STILL haven't created anything that even Apple would give a shit about.


6) Linux is more secure and easier to improve than Windoze.

Until the terrorists, cultists, and malicious coders get their hands on Lunix. If they haven't already. After all, it is open-source, and by definition, open-source means that everybody gets to contribute their input into the kernel.


7) The Linux community is willing to lend a helping hand to those not familiar to the kernel.

If a helping hand means,
(a) telling grandma to RTFM and
(b) posting 9 spelling-error-filled pages of insults, death-threats, and jokes about gay sex/male body parts/fairy-tale creatures on a Linux message board because she politely asked how to get her sound card to work,
then surely the Luddix community is the most generous group in the world.


8) Linux is more stable than Windoze

I like that, plus the fact that you can't run anything without 200 dependencies (see dependency) or 30 lines of code.


Now that we're done breaking down the crap, here are some things the Lunatix community has no choice but to fix, if they ever want old Tux to be on more than 0.0003% of all desktops.

1) GET RID OF X! It is a waste of resources and useless as a desktop GUI. At least the guy who created Damn Small Linux had the right idea, and as a result, created a distro that actually isn't bloat-ware.

2) Get rid of all those useless fucking window managers and themes. They add more bloat to the system.

3) Get rid of the snobs, l337 haxors, and religious extremists in your midst. If you ever wonder why nobody is using Linux, it's because these bastards are the loudest and rudest of the bunch.

4) NO MORE TARBALLS OR COMPILES! The software should already be compiled BEFORE it is released, because that's just pure fucking laziness and the programmer deserves to be hanged.

5) Rewrite the entire Lin-architecture so that programs don't need 200 fucking dependencies just to work.

6) Rewrite the entire Lin-architecture so that it doesn't require a 5-hour compile whenever an updated of a text-editor/MP3 player/Tux-Racer game is installed.

7) GET THE FUCKING HARDWARE TO WORK! If the "Winmodem" works on a FreeBSD box and a BeOS box with generic drivers, then there is no excuse for the modem to not work under Linux.

8) Standardization is good, especially when it comes to file packaging and installation.

9) Get rid of all the useless fucking distros that are clogging up the Internet. Nobody is going to use 290 of them anyway, so you might as well just band together and focus your talents and resources (and MY donation money) on the 10 most used distros.

10) Make the emulation PERFECT! If WINE promises to emulate Windows programs, then it damn well better emulate every piece of Windows-compatible software sold at Office Depot or Electronics Boutique. Failure to do so is unacceptable and will result in the purchase of a real OS (Windows XP).
If Average User Joe has to spend 5 hours downloading a 3-CD Linux distro from your crappy servers or end up shelling out $50 to $180 at Best Buy for the same distro because (a) the servers are not available or (b) don't exist, then Joe expects that distro to (1) install flawlessly, (2) work right out of the box, and (3) support all his hardware. If said Linux distro violates any of the three expectations, then don't expect Linux to succeed.
por Tirk Dogg 28 de Fevereiro de 2005
 
15.
GNU/Linux is about empowering users to a choice. Linux is a kernel (guts of an OS). GNU/Linux is the kernel with GNU tools to form a complete OS.

GNU is a software revolution that is open and free in every since of the word. The code (software) is open to anybody to download and/or modify as long as you share the modifications with others. This is an open concept like university research. Everybody benifeits from the colaboration of others. In a closed enviornment inovation and quality are stifiled.
heep://www.urbandictionary.com uses Linux and very glad to see they know what they are doing by using php.

Live free or die!
por chilaxin 13 de Agosto de 2004
 
16.
A highly stable OS designed for the most elite of computer users. Apparantly it is often dissed on by computer newbies and gamers who think that is is an inferior operating system. There aren't many games for it, hence the reason computer gamers dislike it. And lazy bums don't like it because you actually have to do some work to install something. Or even read a readme file god-forbid! Newbies hate it because it helps eliminate 'clicky-clicky-clicky', the repetitive disease most windows users suffer (which is also apparantly addictive). Linux machines take up a very good portion of all network servers, and due to their stability - companies that use these systems rarely suffer from downtime. Because of these features, Linux is perfect for both businesses and geeks alike. It is also much more cost effiecient, see below.

Price comparision:
Windoze XP - $100-200
Windoze 2000 Pro - $180
Windoze 2000 server - $900 +
Windoze 2000 Advanced server - $1200+
Linux box set with documentation and official CDs - $20 - $70
Linux (any distro) - Free download
Woot! Look at that penguin go!
por Phil 06 de Abril de 2003
 
17.
Incredibly stable OS which is completly free and can be changed in anyway and distributed freely. Often insulted by newbies or people with not enought patience to figure it out. Many different flavors of Linux.
Linux almost never crashes and works fast.
por linux 11 de Julho de 2003
 
18.
An open source operating system that tends to get more secure and desktop ready everyday!!
To break a Linux box, you will have to work at it..
To break a Windows box, you just have to work on it..
por Son of Jorel 03 de Janeiro de 2004
 
19.
Linux is an OS. For those that don't know it does have a gui. Gnome and KDE have icons. It's not just about code. Most of the people on this page just need something that doesn't require you to know about computers. Windows is for people that need to use E-mail and surf the web without knowing about computers. It's made with the users in mind, while Linux is made with operation in mind.
Linux runs the most servers, while Windows runs the most games and E-mail clients.
por Rubik 30 de Agosto de 2003
 
20.
See the future.
Linux is the future of operating systems. Watch out Windows!!
por blue_nova* 13 de Junho de 2004
 
21.
Linux's nature is very stable, reliable and secure and opensource, so its easily configurable to suite the needs of the user/organiSation.

Due to these natures linux is best for productive, technical, work.

This includes;

*Serving
*Programming
*Hacking

Linux is not meant for the "average Joe" that just wants to check his hotmail or someone that wants to see his friends over msn webcam.

However, because of the nature of most (all) linux distros developers have made many different kinds of apps and games available to linux.

A technical user that understands linux can do the same things you can do on windows (even run windows apps with wine).

People that don't understand linux, and have negative comments usually refer to linux distros as versions. They are used to microsoft windows having good and bad versions. Whilst linux is an os kernel developed by people in their free time and not a huge company that decides to release their software for free, with different sites for each version and lots of http and ftp downloads on .edu servers.
i
I COULDN'T INSTALL LINUX. WTF IS A KERNEL IMAGE, BARRE.I !??!?.

HMMMMM...I'M GOING TO FORUMS AND URBANDICTIONARY AND USE CAPITAL LETTERS AND SWEAR WORDS TO TELL EVERYONE HOW STUPID THE LINUX COMPANY IS.
por DemonStudios 28 de Maio de 2005