The friend you bring along to bars specifically to distract the over protective fat chick while you get with the hot girl. He comes with because he is either attracted to fatties, or has no self esteem.
Sounds like you need a Buffalo Wingman, call Danny.
Some people have a bit of trouble with very simple tasks, they don't listen well and are probably not gonna go far in life. While people with physical limps have a bit of trouble getting by in the world, they are lucky that society is there to help; those with the mental limp are fucked for life.
I had to walk the guy through how to use the word processor, every instruction was repeated 2 or 3 times to him, I swear he had a mental limp.
believe it or not, in the province of New Brunswick, shank does not mean stab in prison slang, it means to de-pant someone, or pants someone. imagine my surprise when i heard the soccer team was shanking all the freshmans. this is surprisingly a very widely used and understodd term
-(first person)"dude im gonna shank you in front of your girlf friend"
-(second person)"i swear to god if you do, im gonna shank you in the middle of a crowd."
-(third person)" omg those guys are gonna stab each otehr, wtf why am i here."